Still There
by suspensegirl
Summary: CaS 3x18 final convo scene - different ending. ONESHOT. "Just for the record, it was you who ended it, not me."


A/N: Because I suck at sticking to my writing schedule and I've been watching the CaS vid I made over and over _again_.Here's a bit of a different take on their last convo in 3x18. There was so much potential there and it was totally wasted. *pout* Enjoy. And please comment!

…..

Her enthusiasm, anxiety and aching curiosity to find her father dissipated in an instant with the distinct lie that had slipped through his lips. _A day or two, my ass._

"Fine," he chuckled a little, "a week."

"A _week_?" she asked, outraged. "You've known this _entire_ time and you haven't told me." Nate's words echoed in her mind, along with every warning from Chuck and Blair when she'd dated Carter at the end of the summer. Carter looked away, looking a little guilty but saying nothing and she shook her head as the climbing thoughts were finally confirmed.

"Nate was right," she said, shaking her head and slipping it into her hand. She looked out the window to avoid looking at him. "You were using this to get closer."

"I was still seeing if there was something between us, and there obviously is," he said matter-of-factly. He wasn't being overly cocky but it still infuriated and she looked at him disbelievingly. _Had he actually just said that? _

"What's the big deal?" he asked when her gaze of incredulity didn't seem to hold any words.

"I have a boyfriend who I love very much," she said, as if it weren't obvious. Images of her and Nate over the years, and especially recently flooded through her mind. She wanted Carter out of the car – _now_. For so many reasons, but she didn't want to think about the deep-down ones that were starting to rise to the surface.

"_Archibald_?" he laughed, a slight sting hitting him at the fact of her choosing _him_ over himself, even if they _did_ happen to be dating. "You really gonna settle for that?" Now, he was too cocky, and he was _definitely_ pushing it. He saw in her eyes that he was losing the battle he thought he so clearly had a grip on, but he could not find it in himself to stop. He needed something to soothe the burning hole in his heart. He didn't want to accept the possibility that she had moved on.

She turned her face towards the driver, unwilling to waste another minute of her time with the asshole she'd allowed to find her father. It was her fault for hunting him down in the first place, she knew, but right now he was trying to break her up with her boyfriend and that thought alone infuriated her. The nagging her voice in her head telling her Carter was also a _temptation_ needed to be dismissed at all costs. Fury and kicking him out was the only way to do it.

"Can you stop the car please?"

Carter's hand fell down on the seat at her request. His expression showed exasperation in the highest degree. He had lost the battle, and he had lost her. His only hope was that she would show a moment of weakness, but from what he had seen thus far, that wasn't likely. He must have looked annoyed to her, but he was breaking further on the inside.

"Get out," she demanded, her tone neutral. There was no room for questioning.

"_What_?" he asked, as if he hadn't expected _that_. In the back of his mind it had been seen as a possibility, but he had never fully considered it. His face softened, panicked almost. "Don't be like this. You're just nervous about seeing your dad." He wanted the satisfaction, the hope of seeing her twitch at the mention of her possible anxiety, but her expression didn't shift in the least. Her angry face was still firmly in place.

"I don't need your help anymore, or ever again. I should have done this on my own from the start." The words were spewed out in her bitterness, and she knew they wouldn't ever completely be the truth. She could have never managed without Carter by her side. She would have gotten lost and so incredibly distorted by the cruelty and despair the world laid out those who sought their hidden treasures.

Carter nodded, displeased but unwilling to show it. He had no courage, no confidence left, and knew that for the first time ever – and maybe it would be the only time in his entire life – his heart had been broken.

"Fine, if that's what you want." It wasn't an open-ended question, but he couldn't help hoping she would call out to him when he opened the door and climbed out of the car.

"Just for the record, it was _you_ who ended it, not me."

His hand stilled on the door and his eyes widened at her sudden burst. He lowered himself and looked back into the car. Somehow he could sense the limo driver relaxing in the front seat. Mentally he thanked the man for knowing what the tension between he and the blonde really meant. Now he had a grip on the situation again. She had thrown him a lifeline and he greedily grabbed onto it.

"You came back too late," she said adamantly, staring him down. Very slowly and cautiously, he slipped back into the recently abandoned seat. He kept the door open should she slip back into her _demanding him to leave_ mood with the noise.

"Serena—"

"I defended you when no one else did. Just because I bruised your ego a little by actually trying to help you, doesn't give you the right to walk out on me."

His eyebrows narrowed and he shut the door. She wouldn't make him leave until the tense conversation had finished. It was open-ended now and she was accusing him instead of demanding a course of action. He wouldn't _let_ her make him leave, even if she was the one person who could push him around. She stole his strength to push back with his normal fervor.

"I wanted to make things right with the Buckleys," he said very seriously. "I screwed up; and yeah, I was scared shitless, but that doesn't mean I wasn't completely determined to own up to what I'd done."

"And I understood that," she told him, "but obviously you went back to looking for my father, and it couldn't have only been a week ago. You should have come back to me." She couldn't believe how much she was opening up to him when she had only moments ago been in complete control over the situation. It seemed he had that affect on her, ever since he'd lowered his own selfish desires to help her in the quest to find her father.

"What good would that have done?" he asked point-blank. "I had nothing to offer. If I came back with news about your father—"

"You had _you_!" she felt her breath catch and couldn't believe how close she was to watery eyes. She had gotten over this treacherous, heartless being – she had. What in the world could have caused her to almost break down in front of him? The realization of him out of her life forever just gripped her so harshly when he'd stepped out of the vehicle. The words had come spilling out before she could stop them.

"Since when was that ever enough?" he asked, his voice incredibly low and quiet. Her breath caught again. She shook her head, commanding tears not to come. She hated that he'd made her bring back the past just by obeying her demand.

"Get out," she said, this time much more weakly and with the threat of tears. He ignored the words this time and leaned towards her, capturing her long neck in the soft cradle of his hand and brushing his lips against hers. She gasped.

"Let me stay," he breathed. She nodded very subtly after what felt like an eternity.

"Okay."

He moved back to his side of the car, knowing that the simple kiss was already eating at her. Because she _was_ involved with Archibald, and she _had_ tried so very much to stay devoted to those she loved – or _supposedly_ loved. It would take a lot to remind her how good they were together, but tonight had been a breakthrough. The fact that she'd reached out to him at the last possible moment had ignited his hope once again, even if her intention was only to make him feel guilty and simply _live with it_.

"I'm sorry," he said very quietly. She nodded subtly again and looked at her unmoving fingers resting in her lap. "Hey," he said, reaching for one of her hands and pressing his lips to it. She jolted but still turned to look at his apologetic face. "I'm sorry."

She could not find it in herself to say anything, but slowly she pulled her hand away. The action wasn't angry or anything of the sort but an uneasy feeling still loomed over her. She felt like she was cheating on her boyfriend – just like he had cheated on Blair with _her_ in what seemed forever ago – and the only thing that soothed her even a little was the sound of her phone turning off when she pressed the _END_ button.

"Keep going, please," Carter told the driver, his eyes still pinned on her. "We've got a plane to catch."

….

A/N: So open-ended, I know, but I really am just going to keep it as a one-shot. I'm reading another CaS fic that follows the possibility of him going with her. You'll just have to think what you want with my fic. NJ, CaS, NS, NSCa…hehe, oh the possibilities. Lol. I haven't the strength to write up another multi-fic. XD Review!


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